It’s 2018. How did that happen?

I had one resolution for 2017: recover from depression. And while I’m still struggling with my co-existing mental disorders, I feel like it’s safe to say that I was successful in my recovery. I am no longer depressed. What I am, however, is terrified. When I have a bad day, when I feel gloomy and […]

Assholes will be assholes.

I’ve been trying and trying to write. Talking to my therapist, trying to figure out why I can’t. Why I don’t. Why I won’t. But that’s a subject for another day. There is shit going on in this monumentally fucked up world that is making my brain feel too full, swollen with anxiety and doubt […]

Re-Entry

Re-entry from this trip has been rough. Not just the jetlag – although that has been a complete and utter asshole. It’s something more. Maybe it’s because my kid is struggling with it, too. There’s nobody quite so capable of finding fault with you as your own teenage child, and when that child is also […]

Secrets.

The most terrible of family secrets are deep, dark, and long-held. They are a burden, a weight heavier than lead, bowing the backs of the aunties and grannies who all too often carry them, unspoken, to the grave. We are still traveling, and spent the day with an elderly relative, a warm, kind woman who […]

I’m Always Home.

I’m traveling with my kid for about 10 days – we flew to the opposite coast, and are spending part of our time as tourists in a city she’s never been to (one I’ve spent a great deal of time in), and the rest of our time with family. It’s my second extended trip since […]

Do I Owe Anyone Jack Shit?

I discovered a kind of cool thing on my WordPress app just now…it shows the stats on this here blog back to 1970! Not only are the stats nearly as old as I am, they show me that pretty much nobody is looking at this odd little corner of the internet. As far as I’m […]

Nearing a breakthrough…or just another breakdown?

Look at me, tapping away on my phone like some kind of mental illness overcomer. Does that trope bug the shit out of anyone else? The whole “look at this brave person overcoming their mental illness and living happily-ever-after” bullshit? Or the fucked up memes that say shit like “this woman battles depression, anxiety, and […]

Caffeinated & Cursing