Metaphor for a Mess


Text: I loved this picture when I drew it. In black-and-white it was beautiful, each detail catching the eye in turn. So, I thought, why don’t I make it better? Add some color, brighten it up, take it from beautiful to amazing. 

In what is sort of a metaphor for my life, I fucked it up. My attempts at making my art better, at doing something “perfectly,” resulted in an overwhelming blob of color. It’s far from perfect – it’s a mess. Like me. 

My therapist diagnosed me with OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) a few weeks ago. Basically, the perfectionism, control-freakism, excessive attention to details (and more) that I’ve dealt with since I was young is a “thing.” A diagnosis. My need to fix & perfect things is a disorder, which has brought me here.

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